The Essential Post-Breakup Self-Love Guide
No matter how long you’ve been with someone, breakups are painful. As we struggle to understand what happened, breakups can drum up dormant insecurities and exaggerate the ones we have always had, leaving us vulnerable to a damaged self-image. Breakups also disrupt our sense of routine and normalcy while having a major impact on the physiology of our brains. We experience pain, symptoms of withdrawal and intrusive thoughts about our ex, ourselves and the relationship we imagined we would have.
We’ve been there. We may be there again. The only way to move is through it. Vi Beauty Lab believes that the key to surviving life’s painful moments is connecting with those we love and deepening our love and commitment to ourselves. While it takes time to heal a broken heart, the steps to healing can bring tremendous growth and development of our most important relationship: the one we have with ourselves. Order your favorite treat and keep reading for Vi Beauty Lab’s essential post-breakup self-love guide.
1. Find Safe Outlets For Your Feelings
Taking a compassionate, self-loving approach to navigating the aftermath of a breakup makes it easier to overcome. That means finding safe outlets when tough feelings pop up. We know it’s tempting to stalk an ex’s social media, reach out to them to “check in,” or fantasize about what they’re doing, thinking, or feeling about us. When we do those things, though, we aren’t being kind to ourselves.
When those intrusive thoughts pop up, shift your focus to an activity that takes you out of the swirl. We also suggest changing his number in your phone to your most trusted friend’s number. Take a walk, play with your pet, or meet up with a friend to do something fun that is not ex-related, take a breath and maybe, get a facial. Here’s the deal, and let’s not mince words, asking for help is brave. Make an appointment with a therapist when you need to talk things through. Writing is another way we can process difficult feelings after a breakup. A study of a group of recently-divorced writers found that writing about their breakup brought faster healing for their mental and physical health. This is one of the hardest things to do, but it’s one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself to jumpstart your post-breakup emotional glow up.
2. Stop Idealizing Your Relationship and Your Ex
In the aftermath of a breakup, we tend to forget about the bad and over glorify the good. Psychologists actually recommend that we compensate for this tendency by focusing on the aspects of the relationship that didn’t serve us. While it may not feel charitable, professional consensus agrees that you actually need to compensate for this tendency to idealize your relationship by choosing to focus on the bad. Remind yourself of times they didn’t show up, disregarded your feelings or did that annoying thing that drove you crazy. Thinking about what you didn’t like about this person or the relationship helps disrupt the voice that says you want or need them back, or worse: that they were somehow too good for you.
When you’re further along in your healing process, you can think about what positive things you learned, experienced or received from the relationship. For now, give yourself some self-love by choosing to be just a little bit petty. You’re great. They weren’t. Your friends will probably be eager to help you with this part.
3. Recommit to Yourself
The only lifelong relationship we will always have and need to nurture is the one we have with ourselves. Often in romantic relationships we forget to focus on this essential and beautiful connection. A breakup is a great reminder to find ourselves and give ourselves a big fat glow up inside and out. Take yourself on dates and do the things you love. Take the hours you would have spent with your former partner and exercise, re-engage with a hobby you used to love, get a massage and a facial, read books, paint your nails, try a new makeup tutorial and write about it.
When you’re tempted to listen to the songs you shared with your ex or look at cute pictures of them, instead listen to your favorite pump-up song and look at cute pictures of yourself! Give yourself a celebration when you accomplish something small that has been hard since your breakup, like taking a shower or doing the laundry. Having a hard time? Do a face mask and hop into your snuggliest jammies and listen to a guided meditation. You deserve love. Give it to yourself in abundance.
Be Kind to You At Vi Beauty Lab
Bring your tear-stained face, your broken heart and your sugar cravings to Vi Beauty Lab for a glow up. You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re here – you just have to be you. We’re here to pamper your skin, beautify your brows and give you ‘Glam-worthy’ lashes. We’re here to listen, laugh and help you on your journey to self-love. From facials, peels and injectables to brow and face waxing and lashes, all of our services are tailored to your needs, wants and goals, and after a breakup you definitely could use that kind of energy in your life. Vi Beauty Lab is a group of humans who have lived life’s crazy ride of ups, downs and in-betweens. Our hearts have been snapped, cracked and built back up again with self-love and community support. You’ve got this. We promise. We are here to serve you. Let us know what we can do for you at Vi Beauty Lab.